I haven't written publicly in so long that I suddenly realized how lazy I've gotten about writing here altogether. Friends-only entries are easy, I can just dump out all the random stuff that goes through my odd little mind on any given day without censoring myself. I know the people who are reading me. There's a comfort level. Public entries are much different, especially given my tendency for paranoid speculation. Who's reading? I don't know. Could be anyone from anywhere, bringing who knows what preconceptions with them. It occurs to me my life is very compartmentalized. It always has been, really. Inside the maze with all those uniquely different spaces I feel free to wonder at the contents of each. Outside, I wonder at the necessity of creating so complex a structure in the first place. I wonder about comfort levels, and about the potential hazards of opening doors. Sometimes I wonder if this compartmentalization is healthy. I doubt it's normal. Is it?
That's about as deep as I want to get without more coffee.
Today's plans include downstairs-straightening, dishwashing, and laundry at home. This afternoon I'm off to the jewelry studio at school to cast the keys I invested the other day. I plan to use them to make the chain for my locket
, completing the project. It's due Tuesday. This is my favorite part of the weekend lately; anticipating working in the jewelry studio. So fun! On the way there of course I'll stop at the Starbucks drive-thru for my customary triple mocha, another Saturday anticipation.
No doubt I'll stay late, as I have also been enjoying lately. When someone else is there, I should add. It's not as fun working there alone. With my new solitary existence and subsequent availability of discretionary free time, I've been choosing to spend my time where I like, when I like. This has mostly ended up being the studio, where people I enjoy being around are similarly engaged in creative and problem-solving pursuits. While being really, really funny in the meantime. I still get a little mental reeling effect thinking of how close I was to not taking a class at all this semester. I feel speculatively bereft contemplating how easily I could have missed out on this. I still can't believe I made that locket sometimes. I made a little house! And I never would have done it if I hadn't made it now. Lucky, lucky me.
Maybe it's the coffee talking, but thinking back over all the life choices and experiences that brought me here, I inevitably end up choosing to joyfully treasure them all. Even the ones that could be perceived as a really bad idea at the time. I enjoy being a student, I think, in life as well as in a classroom learning environment. The more I learn, the more I learn there is to learn (I'm sure someone else said that), and apparently there's nothing I enjoy more than that. I remember how excited I was to discover I could actually learn to draw
. Now I can't imagine my life without drawing. It's an entirely different way of processing reality that leaves a visual record for others to interpret as they will. I feel so much richer for having this as an option to pursue.
I went to an artist friend of mine's gallery opening last night. I have one of his archival digital prints, a sketchbook page with March birds. The new work he had last night was really amazing. So much depth, with sketched birds and layered pictures from audubon books and paint sample chips and multi-directional text, all combined with exploding color. Bright dots and concentric lines and movement everywhere. I told the artist and his wife that they were like two-dimensional Cornell boxes. I was just blown away.
He teaches in addition to showing his work, and we ended up talking about 100-level classes and how different the student approach is from students in upper-level classes. How the ones who are there to learn stand out. This has always been me, at least when I'm learning something I'm interested in. This attitude of learning has served me well throughout my somewhat non-traditional life, too. I did the stupidest stuff... but I learned a lot about a lot of things. And the lessons from one experience carried into the next to bring me finally to here, a place I really like for the most part. It's taken a lot of refining, and there's been a lot of loss. And there will inevtiably be more lessons and problems to solve. The path of the student is a hard one, if the student is really looking to learn. But the rewards of knowledge and evolving wisdom through the exploration of a life have been so, so worth it.
And I'm just all over the place this morning! Not that this is unusual. I blame coffee. In some way or another, I know
Thanks to apel
for yet another beautiful desktop picture
. The number of her beautiful scenes that have graced one computer desktop of mine or another must be in the dozens by now. Fabulous. :)